I stand in my mirror and look at my reflection. I’m no longer a child nor teenager, or lady. I am a woman, a full grown woman and it seemed like yesterday my mom was brushing my hair in pig tails. I remember my first love my first heartbreak. I wish the first heartbreak was my last. A swirl of exes cross my mind. I wonder how a few of them are doing? I always wondered was that their intentions to hurt me? I untie my robe to get dressed. I remembered when my closet was full of dark colors and boy like clothes to hide my body. I didn’t accept it until after high school. Now, my closet is full of curvaceous clothing to hug every inch of me. I’m still a tall 5’9 without my heels. Who would have thought animal print corsets and high heels. Shy chubby girl doesn’t exists anymore. Just a curvalicious vixen with a healthy sexuality and sex life. Nothing is ever too taboo. Never stopped allowing myself to be happy as I look at the flowers on my vanity from my new found love. Biological clock is ticking because I have yet to hear the patterning of little tiny feet. Education I have it still working on it. Diamond ring not one on my finger yet. Once upon of time I thought I was going to be the future Mrs.Jones. Dressing myself with my t-shirt and jeans, its nice to be the girl next door sometimes. Can’t believe I gave the guy next door a chance. Did I mention we were only a couple for a day. Yet we were inseparable when we kids. Dang it why do I wear these heels? I guess its for the added sex appeal. Then I wonder what are they looking at? I can’t help it I have created a brand new me. My exes are green with envy. I cried my tears after all you broke my heart. I gave you the tears you wanted from me. Want more well I won’t give you because I’m drunk on new love. I stride in my red pumps head held high. Nope no one can knock me off my high horse. I told you I was gonna write a book and guess what I wrote it. Finally time to let all my talents shine. Its a million things to do in a day. Yet I do a thousand things that I couldn’t get done yesterday. I strive so hard because I’m my biggest fan. Even if no one ever truly cares for the novels I writes who cares. Because everyday this is me. Me at my best.
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When I stand in the mirror I see Sierra. Its a blessing to know that I have accepted myself as a woman and now that I am a woman I realize that my flaws and mistakes only made me stronger. Another lesson I learned during my journey in womanhood. Is that its okay to love, except love yourself first and enough self love is never too much you dont need a man to validate the woman you are. I’m in love and that’s a blessing but because I loved God and myself first I gained that blessings. To all my ladies going thru it and you know what I mean. Find faith, keep the hope and love yourself.
I know you are wondering what the hell smash or pass. A week ago I was researching sexual positions. Yes sex positions, I know what you thinking. I’m a fun girl and I love to experiment. I came across an article about why you should smash and not pass a fat chick. In other words to have sex with a fat girl don’t decline. First and foremost I hate the word fat. Hell I prefer overweight. Fat is like a huge down grade for me. This guy basically was saying sex with a big girl is a huge plus because we are desperate. We like food after sex. We go to sleep because sex is like exercise and we don’t exercise so after sex we are exhausted. Which means no nagging pillow talk. We won’t complain because we are so happy for the attention and action. We are less likely to say no to sexual advances. This post was from a college frat boy. All of these things are so not true. I’m a full figured diva I’m 5’9 360. I’m a size 26. I’m a beautiful chocolate amazon I’m proud. I personally workout and eat healthy now only because I want a lifestyle change. Just wanna live longer. My idea goal 200 pounds. I don’t want to weigh any less. I love my curves. This article hurt my feelings. Making it seem like plus size women have a sucky sex life and we are desperate. Well, I’m speaking for all the curvalicious divas when I say this. If we are not having sex its not because we don’t get it. Its probably because we are tired from it. We have admirers and I dunno know about you I do and I get tired of all the advances and ass slapping. We have Goddesses modeled after our bodies. Our clothes fit us better, I love my skinny jeans and heels. Most of us are flexible, I get in positions even a skinny girl can’t get into. I can throw it back, skinny girls can’t throw back unless you got a big booty. I’m already blessed. Not every big girl has flab. I’m more solid muscle and less fat. I can run a mile, after sex I’m never TIRED, I’m full of energy how about round two? I will have you feeding me and carrying me around like a goddess when I’m done with you. Size is exactly that a size it doesn’t determine a woman’s ability. We as plus size women need to embrace our bodies. Love ourselves there is nothing more sexy than a woman that is comfortable in her skin. My guy loves it when I put on my clothes and doll myself up and walk tall in my shoes. As for the college boy who wrote the lets degrade the fat chicks article. I would love to make you eat your words and have you fat with humiliation. Yes I would screw you until you couldn’t take it anymore. Oh, poor poor baby are you tired? Sleepy??? Oh take a nap. I guess I will take my fat ass in the kitchen and have an orgasm with a nice warm glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut. Yummy.
I even write books about beautiful full figured women.