When I stand in the mirror I see Sierra. Its a blessing to know that I have accepted myself as a woman and now that I am a woman I realize that my flaws and mistakes only made me stronger. Another lesson I learned during my journey in womanhood. Is that its okay to love, except love yourself first and enough self love is never too much you dont need a man to validate the woman you are. I’m in love and that’s a blessing but because I loved God and myself first I gained that blessings. To all my ladies going thru it and you know what I mean. Find faith, keep the hope and love yourself.
I know you are wondering what the hell smash or pass. A week ago I was researching sexual positions. Yes sex positions, I know what you thinking. I’m a fun girl and I love to experiment. I came across an article about why you should smash and not pass a fat chick. In other words to have sex with a fat girl don’t decline. First and foremost I hate the word fat. Hell I prefer overweight. Fat is like a huge down grade for me. This guy basically was saying sex with a big girl is a huge plus because we are desperate. We like food after sex. We go to sleep because sex is like exercise and we don’t exercise so after sex we are exhausted. Which means no nagging pillow talk. We won’t complain because we are so happy for the attention and action. We are less likely to say no to sexual advances. This post was from a college frat boy. All of these things are so not true. I’m a full figured diva I’m 5’9 360. I’m a size 26. I’m a beautiful chocolate amazon I’m proud. I personally workout and eat healthy now only because I want a lifestyle change. Just wanna live longer. My idea goal 200 pounds. I don’t want to weigh any less. I love my curves. This article hurt my feelings. Making it seem like plus size women have a sucky sex life and we are desperate. Well, I’m speaking for all the curvalicious divas when I say this. If we are not having sex its not because we don’t get it. Its probably because we are tired from it. We have admirers and I dunno know about you I do and I get tired of all the advances and ass slapping. We have Goddesses modeled after our bodies. Our clothes fit us better, I love my skinny jeans and heels. Most of us are flexible, I get in positions even a skinny girl can’t get into. I can throw it back, skinny girls can’t throw back unless you got a big booty. I’m already blessed. Not every big girl has flab. I’m more solid muscle and less fat. I can run a mile, after sex I’m never TIRED, I’m full of energy how about round two? I will have you feeding me and carrying me around like a goddess when I’m done with you. Size is exactly that a size it doesn’t determine a woman’s ability. We as plus size women need to embrace our bodies. Love ourselves there is nothing more sexy than a woman that is comfortable in her skin. My guy loves it when I put on my clothes and doll myself up and walk tall in my shoes. As for the college boy who wrote the lets degrade the fat chicks article. I would love to make you eat your words and have you fat with humiliation. Yes I would screw you until you couldn’t take it anymore. Oh, poor poor baby are you tired? Sleepy??? Oh take a nap. I guess I will take my fat ass in the kitchen and have an orgasm with a nice warm glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut. Yummy.
I even write books about beautiful full figured women.
Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in lust at first sight. Lust can get mistaken for love. You barely know them and you think you love them. When I was young and in my early 20s I believed in love at first sight. Come the second relationship of my adult life. I waited eight months before I hit him with the I love you. He never believed me until I left his ass. He was truly the love of my life. Now its over and since then I have been living better days. Love is a strong word that should used with caution. Most sick individuals use love to gain whatever it is that they are seeking. Users is what I call them; they like to take advantage and for granted the love someone holds for them. Users create holes in the heart of loving free spirited people like I. I believe there should be no time limit when the word should be used. Whenever your heart says spill it, say it. Well, what if they don’t say it back? Thats fine at least its out there and there are no tug of war of emotions on the inside. You never know he or she may feel the same way and was just waiting on you to make that move. Women tend to make the first move because we are more secure in knowing what we want. In the beginning I thought every guy I dated could be the one. It took my first heart break to realize men can deceive you and break all the promises he made. Even worst, someone can pretend they love you. Then later reveal ” I never loved you anyway.” Its either one or two things you want to do to that person. Cry or kick their ass either way its humiliating. Then you retreat and tell yourself you are not dating for a while. Then eventually you find yourself lonely. Throwing your phone against the wall for the hundredth time because on your Facebook newsfeed is crowded with date night pics and couples. “Grrrrrrr”
Oh how you wish you could transform yourself into black Cupid and distribute your black arrows and wreck havoc on love birds every where with your bitterness. As you fly around with your evil grin chanting “Welcome to my world.” My only advice to you. Snap out of it and before you step back out into the world of love and dating. Leave the bitterness behind and develop some form of training wheels to ease back into dating game.
Want to know more about me?
My relationship ended before it even came to life. Being young and falling in love is just an experience that can’t be explain. Everyone has experienced different things. Every person experience isn’t the same. When you are young in your early twenties like I was eight years ago. Your prorities are different and your biological clock doesn’t exists.
Wow, like what’s a biological clock?” I asked my doctor when I was twenty one. Anyway,my love of my life and I met when I was twenty-six. He was everything to me, we had a fire but a cold flame. I fell in love with a bitter soul. My age has innocence and disadvantages when it comes to a relationship like this. In other words I was played. He was swift, fast, and smart. His bedroom room skills were heaven on earth. Middleage man, he was knocking 40 at the door last time I checked. He was bitter from a failed relationship. I took punishment for someone else mistakes. It had even gotten to the point were his memories became crossed, mistaking me for her. The lies I hate lies. The sex oh how I loved his sex. The fights, were fought every night. His darkest hours sent me down a dark highway. With my bagagges of emotion scattered out on the dark road. This road goes on forever its almost never ending. Where does it end. If I can gather my emotions there is a light that awaits me.
It’s been a while since I had my mind occupied by another. I feel different emotions; good and bad. I feel I’m infatuated. I’m amazed, amused, and aroused. Oh, yes aroused about everything about him. His eyes, smile, laugh, and his age. Yes, his age the maturity just right definitely between the sheets. At night I swear my heart skips a few beats. A mature young lady and a mature older man is the recipe for a steamy night. Thinking about it just send chills down my spine. Can’t help but think its been this way since the day we met. The naughty things I love to do for him and to him. It’s a shame some days I just want his sweet kisses. If this a game, well it’s that damn good. The conversation and chemistry seem sincere. Oh, my I could fall in love with him or have I. As I watch him sleep, I say to myself; he’s my little secret. I do want him to feel what I feel in due time. I want to enjoy these moments. I guess I’m going to have to see where this love affair goes. I’m letting go now, no regrets.
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