Is There A Time Limit On The L Word

Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in lust at first sight. Lust can get mistaken for love. You barely know them and you think you love them. When I was young and in my early 20s I believed in love at first sight. Come the second relationship of my adult life. I waited eight months before I hit him with the I love you. He never believed me until I left his ass. He was truly the love of my life.  Now its over and since then I have been living better days. Love is a strong word that should used with caution.  Most sick individuals use love to gain whatever it is that they are seeking. Users is what I call them; they like to take advantage and for granted the love someone holds for them. Users create holes in the heart of loving free spirited people like I. I believe there should be no time limit when the word should be used.  Whenever your heart says spill it, say it. Well, what if they don’t say it back? Thats fine at least its out there and there are no tug of war of emotions on the inside. You never know he or she may feel the same way and was just waiting on you to make that move. Women tend to make the first move because we are more secure in knowing what we want. In the beginning I thought every guy I dated could be the one. It took my first heart break to realize men can deceive you and break all the promises he made. Even worst, someone can pretend they love you. Then later reveal ” I never loved you anyway.”  Its either one or two things you want to do to that person. Cry or kick their ass either way its humiliating. Then you retreat and tell yourself you are not dating for a while. Then eventually you find yourself lonely. Throwing your phone against the wall for the hundredth time because on your Facebook newsfeed is crowded with date night pics and couples.  “Grrrrrrr”
Oh how you wish you could transform yourself into black Cupid and distribute your black arrows and wreck havoc on love birds every where with your bitterness.  As you fly around with your evil grin chanting “Welcome to my world.” My only advice to you.  Snap out of it and before you step back out into the world of love and dating. Leave the bitterness behind and develop some form of training wheels to ease back into dating game.

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Dating Outside The Box

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About two weeks ago I found myself sitting at a booth at Denny’s with a complete stranger. Well, not totally a stranger but on a date with a guy named Tom. I’m saying to myself; you can’t be serious you just got out of a relationship three months ago. If he is another loser I’m done. I just may consider packing my bags and moving to an Amish town. Do they even accept black people? If not a nun won’t be so bad. At first I don’t even want to look at him. However if I wanted to be a bitch I should have took my ass home after work. So I finally open my eyes and my mouth to get to know this guy who called himself Tom. As we were talking I notice his big brown eyes. He was two inches shorter than me and to top it all off he was the cream in my coffee. The date was going fine except for all the annoying stares. Interracial couple yes, however you don’t really see a white guy with a black beautiful amazon everyday. So its normal for people to stare at things they believe are foreign and not the norm. Being attracted to white guys are my normal. Except the ones I dated before never lead to anything but a few one nightstands because it was just a white man who wanted to fulfill a fantasy or the white guys that want to be black. Ugh, if I wanted a black man I would not be dating you! Tom and I chatted for hours. We have a lot in common even the same views on somethings. Afterwards he walked me to my car. No traditional goodnight kiss. Instead we just stared at each other. So I will see you tomorrow I hope. He asked. Yea if you want.  I got in my car and drove away. I got home showered and sprawled out on my comfy bed. My phone begin to ring. It was Tom, I answered only to hear him say, I really like you and I find you very attractive.  Thank you I replied. After another hour long conversation I went to bed. Every since that first date I have seen him almost everyday.  For the last two weeks. Just to think I was about to give up. I guess there is a man out there for me after all. Tall, vanilla,and handsome. When you are open minded the possibilities are endless.

The Date

I stood in the mirror staring at my naked body. “What shall I wear?” I thought to myself.  I had a date with my landlord hell what was his name?  I checked the lease he slipped in my mailbox this morning.  Oh his name is Brad, how cute. I rambled through my suitcases.  I needed to go furniture shopping. I had  slept on a air mattress last night.  I found it, my damage blue jean short shorts and my zebra print Marilyn halter swimsuit. It was very sexy for a one piece. I got dressed, the shorts were cute not too much butt cheek but enough for a teaser. I slid my feet into my black flip flops. I styled my hair in long flowing waves. I applied bronzer to my chocolate brown skin, I dressed my eyes with Dior waterproof mascara and golden eye shadow. I applied my pink tone lipgloss and blew a kiss at the mirror. I heard his motorcycle pull in the driveway. I grabbed my brown and white Henri Bendal tote walking out the door.

” Wow, I never rode on the back of a Harley before.” I said walking towards him.

“First time for everything.” He said smiling at me. I mounted the back of the bike and put my arms tightly around his nicely toned waist. I wonder whats underneath. We pulled out into the street headed into town. We finally arrived at beachfront with motorcycles everywhere. The smell of grilled meats and seafood filled the air. Tanned beauties of all races roamed the beach with their dates. I spotted two bars amongst the crowd. I should have known what is a biker party without the booze.

” Your idea of a first date?” I asked

” Not trying to be funny or anything but you seem like you could use some fun.” He said, helping me off the bike.

“What happened to your leg?” He asked, looking at the bandage that covered my bullet wound.

” I was shot while defending myself.” I said. I took the red bandana off his head and tied it around the bandage.

“Now, I fit in.” I said smiling. He grabbed my hand and we headed towards the bar. Three blondes were working their daisies and their boots. Not to mention serving drinks to the thirsty crowd. We ordered Patron tequila shots. The blonde bar tender served us a tray with six shots,lemon and lime pieces sprinkled with salt.

“Are you sure you can handle your liquor?” He said laughing.

I wrapped my lips around the shotglass,tilting my head back consuming its contents. I popped the lemon in my mouth sucking softly.

” Your turn tough guy.”
He bit the lemon first and quickly drank the shot. He threw back another after that.

” So you want to challenge me?” I asked, I round up the remaining three shots and finished them off. He just stared at me amazed.

“Another round” he shouted to the bar tender. We finished off three rounds before we left the bar. He grabbed my hand and led me to ocean. The caked sand felt funny in my flipflops so I decided to take them off. He playfully swooped me up in his arms spinning me around. We chased each other like children around the beach. We flopped down into the sand breathing heavily.
“You beautiful you know that.” He said running his fingers through my damp hair. He moved in closer for a kiss. I kissed his lips, softly stroking his vanilla tan skin. He positioned his body on top of me kissing me as the waves caressed our skin. I pulled his wet t-shirt off throwing it a side. I removed my shorts. I reached in my tote for a condom.
” What are you doing?” he asks.
” I want you to make love to me right now. I have never made love on a beach. Don’t you have fantasies?” I asked playfully. Fantasies do come true.

Want to find out more about Brooke.
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From The Diary of Brooke Belmont

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Our First Date

June 29, 2010

 

I met you only a few days ago. You made me feel like I was sixteen again. Maybe it was the age difference. We laughed and you touch my face all on the first date. We ate popcorn and we laughed, you loved inside jokes. We held hands and shared kisses. If I would have never said hello, look at what we would be missing. Is this love or just a crush? Am I in love with you I think not? Thinking about love at first sight gets my heart in knots. Maybe it’s the chemistry I feel as we ride into the night, down the rain sleek road.

Noticing a vacancy sign of a motel, we begin a game of kiss and tell. Naked spilling all our secrets, we lay together under the thin white sheets. What just happen made my heart skip a few beats. We rose to our feet, riding back into the late night hour. You dropped me off, and I found myself alone in the shower. You didn’t even kiss him again, you’re such a coward. I call him 30 minutes after the hour. I had fun tonight, please come over and let’s make love for these next few hours. He arrived on my doorstep within the hour.